Being caring means that you mean the best for someone, support the person while allowing them to enjoy autonomy. Being controlling, on the other hand, means you force or manipulate someone to act according to your standards.
Yet, the difference between these can be subtle so here's how to identify a controlling partner.
1. He gives ultimatums
An ultimatum backs you into a corner. It is not a compromise where both parties let go of something but it forces you to make the sacrifice all on your own.
2. He checks in ALL the time
It is one thing to send you a random text to ask what you have been up to and quite another matter to keep asking where you are, who you are with and probably to speak to those around you.
3. He has double standards
You two have rules that he contravenes. For example, he insists you shouldn't stay out late because he says he doesn't want harm to come to you yet he does same.
4. He doesn't give you ‘alone’ time
When you are not with him, he either makes you feel guilty about it or you end up coming back earlier than you intended.
5. He polices your social media
He tells you what to post, what to take down and could even get upset when a guy likes your posts.
6. You always end up as the bad guy
Fights are normal parts of relationships but if you always feel guilty afterward, even when you are certain you did nothing wrong then he might be controlling you.
7. He gives backhanded compliments
It may sound like a compliment yet you don't feel good about it. It makes you question your adequacy. For example, he says, "I am surprised. You actually look nice o.â€
8. He uses your trust against you
When you question something he does, he plays the 'don't you trust/love me?' card.
