JOIN NOW, EARN 50% OF OUR TOTAL REVENUE MONTHLY

Bridget Achieng is a Kenyan socialite known in
circles for her curvaceous body. Although she
admits that people assume that she is from a
wealthy family, she told British Broadcasting
Corporation (BBC) that she grew up in one of the
densely populated, rural areas of the Kibera slum,
Kenya.
Speaking of her background, she says she once
served as a househelp and was molested when
she was a young girl. That resulted in
psychological trauma until she was 25.
Describing herself as a former “total African girl”,
she notes that luck shone on her after her friend
told her that her body can bring her the fortune
she had dreamt of as a child. She then used
Nairobi Dairies, a reality television show to
promote herself. Soon after the show, she got
DMs and invites to countries such as Dubai to
get as much as $10,000 from as little as s**king
toes.
“People are seeing a s*xy girl, like a s*xy,
curvy girl. All these rich tycoons want to
have a taste of this fine, beautiful African
girl… You are a desperate girl looking for
money and you are getting a guy wanting to
give you $10,000 (N3.6 million) just to visit
him. Some people have never seen $10,000
in their life. There is nothing for nothing. You
want a million bucks, you will do something
that is worth a million bucks.”
“I had to do it to just get back up. It is not
something any woman should be proud of
doing. Humble yourself and God will lift you
up.”
Small girl, big God
When on-air personality, Toke Makinwa coined
the phrase, “small girl, big God” with an emphasis
on its literal meaning, little did she know it will be
associated with something negative. Today, the
phrase has become the new code word for girls
involved in “runs.” Runs is a euphemism for
transactional s*x.
Despite the ongoing debate about if transactional
s*x borders on s*x work, what we can identify is
that there is a thin line, which appears in the
form of semantics. While engaging in s*x work
involves actively going out on the streets
especially at night to seek for customers whom
they have no previous relationship with to engage
in s*xual activities, ‘small girl, big god’ applies
the term transaction loosely. In a transactional
relationship, it is a ‘give and take’ business.
Kemi explains this to Guardian Life she shares a
two-bedroom apartment with eight friends in
Lekki where they pay a rent of 4 million naira
annually. “Usually, a couple of us spend days
outside the house. When everyone is around, we
share in a ratio of 4 to 1 room unless they have
mutual friends visit from the mainland.”
Kemi has an online hair store but her designer
clothes, shoes and expensive trips are courtesy of
her sugar daddy. Currently, she and two of her
friends are building their houses in Ajah, hers is
sponsored by her “oga.” “Oga”, on the other hand,
enjoys the company of a pretty young girl whom
he can call on at any time despite having a
family.
While the likes of Kemi bear the tag, runs girl,
society has managed to carefully avoid criticising
and labelling their sponsors (Ogas).
In this regard, a school of thought opines that
rather than blame society, girls are responsible for
their fate. They also opine that the reason the
men are not accused is that they do not flaunt
themselves on the internet leading people to make
hasty generalisations about them.
Escape plan
In a cultural society where little value is placed
on the girl-child, the onus is on the girl to present
something to earn societal respect. A closer look
into the society also reveals that are becoming
primary breadwinners.
While there might be an existing debate on social
media, it is a reality for many girls in the society
who see it as their only alternative to living. For
Eduek, a girl a little over 25, who grew up in a
family where importance is given to the male
gender. She resorted to “make it (be successful)”
through the only she was exposed to.
“I would say that I come from a very humble
background but my father loved education. The
only problem is that he thought it was important
for the boys to get an education up to the
university level but a girl was supposed to marry
before 23.”
“When this was not happening and he (my father)
saw that I was desirous of education myself, he
told me to fend for myself.”
Finding herself in this condition invariably meant
that she turned to her ‘considerate’ uncles for
help. “The only one who was willing to help me
gain education and support was my father’s
friend but I had to sleep with him. Today, I am a
graduate.” Interestingly, she sends money to her
family despite not having any known job.
Corporate ‘transaction’
Transactional s*x is not limited to those under
the “small girl, big God” umbrella: corporate
prostitution has gained popularity in our society
especially in financial institutions and
organisations where marketers must meet
ridiculous targets.
Rebecca is a marketer for a very popular new
generation bank and her current target is sixty
million naira a month. According to her, “I started
as a marketer in November 2017, and it was
really tough, my target then was not this high but
at that time even twenty million was a very high
target and in our Nigeria where jobs are scarce,
leaving wasn’t an option. I used all my contact to
get people who knew people and still for about 3
months, I wasn’t even meeting 50% of my 20
million.
“At this point, I knew I had to leave my comfort
zone and I would say I was lucky because by the
fourth month, I met the MD of a particular
company at an event and he cleared my target for
the fourth month. Things totally turned around
from then and even at my present target of 60
million, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal”.
When asked what “leaving her comfort zone
meant,” Rebecca said, “I had to go out with a
couple of my client, it’s just what it is. They gave
me the connection I needed. At first, I wasn’t
really comfortable, after a while it just became the
norm. Apart from meeting targets, I also
personally benefit financially and my network has
gotten bigger.”
The question of transactional s*x
Since the release of Falz album Moral Instruction,
transactional s*x has been the subject of debate.
While the album was rated generally good, he was
heavily criticised because he laid out his detest
for transactional s*x.
“Shamelessly, I will continue to say it, I hate
transactional s*x. It is my pain, it is what I
believe in. You will continue to hear it in my
music whether you like it or not.
“And I’d explain to you, the same feminist
that would say, ‘a woman is free to do what
she wants to do’ and ‘who am I to say to
the woman not to put herself up for money’
is the same feminist that will say women are
being objectified and that is not allowed.
Now you are that same person that is going
ahead to commodify yourself. You have
turned yourself into a commodity. Self-
objectification, self commoditisation, I detest
it and I will continue to speak against it.”
Transactional s*x, often practised by men and
women affects girls and young women in sub-
Saharan Africa. What makes this relationship
stand out is its premise on material things.
According to a report Transactional s*x and HIV
risk: from analysis to action by the UNAIDS (Joint
United Nations Programme on HIV and AIDS),
women who engage in transactional s*x “range
from those characterised as uniformly
impoverished to those that are highly unequal.” It
goes on further to list economic vulnerability,
social status influence and gender inequality are
some of the motivating influences of transactional
s*x.
Ghanian actress, Moesha Boduong said during her
interview with CNN’s Amanpour in 2018 she that
she does not engage in s*xual relations with
anyone who cannot afford to foot her bills.
“In Ghana, our economy is such that you
just need someone to take care of you
because you can’t make enough money as a
woman here.”
The ground for hypocrisy
In a culturally conservative country where
people’s acts are placed under scrutiny and
reactions to activities are based on religion, the
concept of bride price, some have argued, is
likened to exchange for a girl-child.
Traditionally, the seal of the partnership between
a man and a woman is the payment of bride
price. Backed by the different religions practised
by her citizens, the payment of the bride price
equates the transfer of ownership of their
daughter. While in some communities, the price
increases with the status of the girl-child, some
shift payments to the girl’s family. It is only
when this transaction has taken place that
common ground is established. During the
payment, a form of negotiation on the price of the
girl takes place.
Tradition also dictates that once this occurs, the
man is entitled to the woman’s body and can do
as he pleases.
If tradition, religion and society are pointers, does
it make the moral stance for transactional s*x a
breeding ground for hypocrisy?
**All names used have been changed to protect
the identity of the interviewees.
Source:
guardian.ng/life/transaction-chronicles-
her-body-his-money/