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Almost every marriage starts out as a
huge celebration. Together with their
family and friends, each couple is full of
hopes and dreams for their future life
together. But the road to a happy
marriage is far from easy. And as
today’s divorce statistics demonstrate
all too well, many couples opt not to
complete the journey.
It would be easy to blame our high rate
of marital failure on things like not
spending enough quality time together,
allowing bitterness and resentment to
build in our hearts and failing to keep
communication lines open. There’s no
end to books, articles and seminars that
tell you how to improve these and many
other aspects of your relationship. But
while quality time, forgiveness and
communication are vitally important to
creating a happy marriage, if such things
aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a
much deeper problem. And until this
problem is addressed, no amount of
external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue
might be, let’s take a look at the
following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested
him [Jesus] with this question: “Teacher,
which is the greatest commandment in
the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul
and with all your mind.’ This is the first
and greatest commandment. And the
second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as
yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets
hang on these two
commandments.” (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital
problem can be traced back to one or
both partners failing to abide by these
two laws. The same is true of any
relationship. The minute we begin to
focus on our own wants and needs over
those of God or our partner; we’re
destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in
your marriage? How often do you really
focus on listening to what your partner
(or God) has to say instead of insisting
on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and
resentment growing toward your partner?
When was the last time you brought him
or her before the Lord in prayer and truly
thanked God for your relationship?
Struggling to find quality time together?
How about praying with your partner and
asking God how he would like you to use
your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll
notice that your focus automatically
starts to shift away from you and your
desires and over to God and your
partner. As a result, communication
problems begin to improve, anger and
resentment fade away and you naturally
want to spend more time together. Of
course, you can’t expect such changes
to happen overnight. Your relationship is
also bound to face financial pressures,
childrearing issues and other problems
that are beyond your control. But if you
commit your relationship to God and
make a conscious decision each day to
put God and your partner first, your
marriage will be able to weather any
storm. Not only that; you’ll also have
plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in
your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and
your spouse invited God to direct your
relationship. If you would like to do so,
we encourage you to pray the following:
“Dear God, thank you so much
for bringing us together as a
couple. We know that you have a
plan and a purpose for our
marriage, and we invite you, Lord
Jesus, to forgive the past self-
centeredness, and come into our
lives and relationship. Direct our
steps from now on. Please give
us the grace to put You and
each other first every day. Make
our relationship a blessing to
others. But most of all; make it
a blessing to You. Amen.”
Whether you prayed this prayer or not
we would love to send you some great
links to help build your marriage.