Being in the friend zone means you've screwed up, probably right from the beginning or just along the line. It really hurts and might go the extra mile to give you sleepless nights that you wonder why exactly you've gone wrong — while still going wrong.
In the friend zone, she’s feeling absolutely no attraction for you and she’s thinking of you only as a friend and NOTHING MORE.
It's widely believed that once you get yourself in that hell hole called friend zone, you're forever in the friend zone and that nothing you do can get you away from there.
This s**ks but I know where you’re at and how you’re feeling about it; I'm here not just to prove you wrong but to also help you get yourself out of there.
Trying to talk your way out of the friend zone, attempting to convince her of what a great guy you are, why you’re better than that “jerk†she likes, and what a big mistake she’s making by not seeing how “good†of a guy you are is something that won’t work and won’t get you anywhere closer to dating her.
The phrase “actions speak louder than words†comes into play big time when you’re trapped in the friend zone because your ACTIONS are what put you in the friend zone in the first place.
This part one of the ways to get the hell out of that poo hole called "friend zone", seem to have in common (behaviorally speaking) how you can change your behaviour towards that girl so as to leave that dark and lonely room.
1. Accept That You’re In the Friend Zone – Don’t Lie To Yourself
– Accept the reality of the situation.
– Accept that YOUR ACTIONS put you there.
– Accept that you won’t EVER escape the friend zone unless you change your thinking, actions, and habits.
– Accept that, for one reason or another, she doesn’t want the type of guy you’re being and something about it doesn’t make her “feel†attraction for you.
– Accept that the only way you’ll ever escape the friend zone is to change your thoughts, behavior, and habits around her and all other women.
– The problem isn’t women and that they don’t appreciate a “great†guy like you.
– The problem isn’t the other guys who are “jerks†and “bad boys"
– The problem isn’t that the world doesn’t work the way it’s “supposed toâ€.
In any situation, acceptance is the first step to overcoming that situation.
2. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
She doesn’t want a guy who has a “poor me†attitude and she’s definitely not going to let you out of the friend zone because she feels sorry for you.
– Don’t feel sorry for yourself.
– Don’t be mad at yourself.
– Don’t feel like you’re a loser.
– Don’t feel like women will never like you as more than a friend.
You’ll only make your mental state worse and getting out of the friend zone will become that much harder.
So when you accept where you’re at, just tell yourself, “Ok it’s cool. I’m not upset and I’m not going to beat myself up. I got myself into this and I’ll get myself out of it.â€
3. Stop obsessing over her
If she’s on your mind the second you wake up, every minute of every hour of every day, and you’re constantly staring at her pictures on Facebook, it’s too much.
It’s kind of creepy and, over time, not healthy.
– Get a life and become so busy that the last thing you have time for is to think about her.
– Get rid of her photos from the “downloads†section of your phone that you stole off of Facebook.
– Stop stalking her on Facebook to see what she’s doing, where she’s at, what she’s posted, or who she’s talking to.
– Stop talking about her and asking about her when you’re around mutual friends.
4. Reduce the frequency at which you call her
If you want the level of attraction she feels for you to change drastically, you have to stop calling and texting so much.
You have to give her a break.
You have to chill out.
She’s not going anywhere.
You’re not going to die if you don’t talk to her for a while.
She’s not going to be worried sick that something happened to you.
You need to create what I’ve heard Frank Kern call a “pattern interruptâ€.
If the pattern is that you call and text every damn day, you need to interrupt the pattern by not calling and texting her every day.
You need to interrupt the pattern of her only seeing you as a friend by disappearing and making her go, “Whoa. Where did he go? I haven’t heard a peep from him for a week.â€
Not calling and texting so much will GET HER ATTENTION and interrupt that pattern she has of you in her mind.
When you catch her attention, she’s now paying attention to you more than she normally does.
5. Become More of A Challenge – Make Her Work For It
She’s automatically going to throw you in the friend zone when you’re WAY too easy.
She doesn’t want way too easy.
She doesn’t want you to lay down and say, “I’m all yours! Come and get it!â€
It’s not worth her time if it’s not a challenge for her.
Have you ever noticed that she seems to be way more interested in the guys who talk to other women, have a girlfriend, or even a WIFE way more than a guy who’s throwing himself at her?
You ever notice she’s way more interested in the guy who has more female options and won’t settle for just any woman?
Well, that's because women are VERY competitive by nature.
They want the guy that all the other women want.
They want the guy who won’t just let her have him so easily.
You think women put on all that make-up and dress real s*xy when they go out only for the guys?
They’re also doing it so no other “bitches†look better than them. Don’t believe me? Ask a very attractive woman who gets a lot of male attention. Women want to win and they don’t want other “bitches†getting what they can’t have.
So when you stop calling and texting so much, that’s your first step to becoming harder to get.
That’s showing her you’re no longer “in her back pocket†and you’re not so easy anymore.
6. Become more unpredictable
Telling her your life story IS NOT what makes her feel attraction for you.
– It’s not what makes her think you’re an amazing man.
– It’s not what makes her want to hop in bed with you.
– It’s not what makes her want you as “more than a friendâ€.
Telling her your life story takes all of the mystery, excitement, and wonder out of the equation and just leaves her with you – a guy who told her everything there is to know and now she’s bored.
Think about what makes someone so fun, exciting, and cool when you meet them and makes you want to hang out with them all of the time – it’s because you’re getting to know them!
If they told you everything there is to know within the first day of meeting them, you wouldn’t be as excited anymore to hang out with them and you probably wouldn’t have as much fun with them.
When you’re not mysterious, she’ll find you boring, dull, unexciting, she’ll have nothing left to “wonder†about, and she’ll automatically stick you in the friend zone.
SHE WANTS the fun and excitement of not knowing everything about you.
So stop opening your mouth about the details of your life.
Logical thinking convinces you that the less she knows about you, the less she’ll want to hang around you but the opposite is actually true.
The less she knows, the more “fun†she’ll have getting to know you.
7. Give a room to miss you
So when you disappear for a while and you quit calling and texting so much, you are giving her the opportunity to miss you, think about you, and wonder about you.
You’re interrupting the pattern in her mind and she’s feeling a void in her life because your behavior is changing.
Her mind switches from what she was doing to “What happened to...?â€
And before you know it, she’s missing you and wants to talk to you to know how you’re doing, what you’re doing, and who you’re doing it with.
Women are very curious by nature and you must use her curiosity to your advantage in order to start pulling yourself out of that friend zone. You must stand out by being absent.
