The reason most marriages fail is because most couple go into the institution without knowing all that is required to make it work.
You see, when you jump into marriage without appreciating the sheer level of responsibility that comes with it, then you may be headed to failure. Marriage is not a call to party and lounge, It is a call to duty. That is why a child is expected to reach a certain age of maturity, before going to the altar to say "I do." Now I’m not here to preach or give you a recipe for a lasting marriage. Marriages are like finger prints, No two are ever the same. There is no "fits-all" size method to make it work. But there are fundamental factors you must take into consideration as a man or a woman intending to become a husband/wife. If you do, then you will be on the way to successfully navigating the various potholes that will face you on that lifetime journey.
Let me start with the men. There is no point arguing with the fact that the husband/father is the head of the home. Both religious and natural evidences have lent credence to it. But men must realize that as the head of any establishment in life, many responsibilities follow. Even from prehistoric times, men have always been “providers’’ for their families, while women are the ‘’nurturers.’’ Meaning that your primary responsibility includes making sure there’s food on the table. It doesn’t matter if your wife earns more than you. Always ensure you provide those bare necessities of life and I tell you most solemnly, you will have her respect. As a married man, your family always comes first. They are your priority.
As the head of the family, you must live above board, showing good examples at all times. Just like we expect the President of a nation or the CEO of a company to act like a true leader, a father must do likewise. A man must respect his wife and children at all times, because respect they say, is reciprocal. This may look like a tall order. After all we are human and prone to mistakes. But with God, all things are possible. Just as the woman steps in from time to time to assist the family financially when the need arises, the man must also learn to help in domestic affairs from time to time. How many men know how to cook (even if it is Indomie), change diapers, buy foodstuffs from the market and sweep the house? Reflect on that. Now, over to the women.
Personally, I will never date or even think of marrying any woman who always challenges and defies me either openly or in secret. Some people call it submission, but I call it ‘’Respect.’’ Women, learn to respect your husbands. Men value that more than any other. I stand to be corrected. Like I mentioned earlier, women are ‘’nurturers’’ meaning that primarily, they take care of the family especially in the man’s absence. These days however, the economic situation of the world has made it imperative for both fathers and mothers to go out fending for the family. But I’m sure the women get my drift. I remember those days. My mum would go to work in the morning and come back in the afternoon. But she would always ensure we had our lunch, took our bathe and got ready for the evening lessons. She even helped with our homework. Nature has gifted women the ability to multitask, unlike the men. Unfortunately, these days, some mothers have abdicated this primary responsibility to the house-helps and maid-servants.
Lastly and most importantly, a husband and wife owe themselves the responsibility to love and be faithful to each other. That sounds utopian especially given the high rate of infidelities in many marriages these days. Temptations abound everywhere. We are all human. If you mistakenly step off the line, be penitent and ask your spouse for forgiveness. Men please, it is better to walk away from the scene, than beat your wives. And wives please, stop verbally abusing your husbands. Always consider that your spouse is somebody’s son or daughter, and that you will not want your own child treated badly when he or she gets married. We must always learn to have a forgiving heart. Afterall, to err is human, and to forgive is divine.
