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IT is a well-known fact that s*x has come to
be an accepted stress reliever. Some
mornings, Felicia confesses she feels so
lethargic she has to force herself out of bed.
At work, the lethargy turns to irritability and
she finds herself snapping at colleagues for no
reason before returning home and picking silly
arguments with Dan, her husband about dirty
dishes and not helping enough with the
children. Sound familiar?
While Felicia’s mood swings may bear some
resemblance to the symptoms of pre-
menstrual tension or mild anxiety, they are
completely unrelated to her hormones or
mental state. Her crushingly low spirits are
caused by something else altogether-when she
last made love. Too long without s*x, and she
becomes miserable and fractions. “I feel so
low, it’s like I’m almost depressed,” confesses
Felicia, 33, an executive assistant. “On the
weekend, I can’t be bothered to look after the
house or do any house work and I’m so short-
tempered and feel angry at Dan for everything.
“At work too, my colleagues detect my change
in mood and ask if I’m Ok, and I’ll then say
I’m feeling a bit low so they won’t take it
personally.” Felicia, a mother of two children
aged five and 16 months, said she made the
connection between her mood swings and the
state of her love life after her children were
born. “Before we had children, we’d have s*x
whenever we wanted and would hardly go a
day or two without,” she recalls. “But
parenthood drained our energy and we’d often
be too exhausted.
As the gaps between our lovemaking becomes
wider, I noticed the difference in my attitude
to Dan. Even when we hadn’t had s*x for just
a week, I’d start to feel like we were drifting
apart and it made me frustrated and angry. I
worried about everything and whether our
relationship was in trouble. It was very
frightening. I can see how couples could break
up in these circumstances. A ‘s*x famine’ as
it’s now popularly referred to, is something
many exhausted parents can identify with, not
to mention couples who’ve lapsed into a lazy
over-familiarity in long relationships.”
The truth is we’re simply not making love as
often as we need to. And what’s now
becoming apparent are the serious
repercussions.As well as impacting on our
mood and mental health, experts now believe a
lack of s*x is particularly responsible for the
break-up of some marriages. Early last year,
scientists from Florida State University
confirmed the importance of s*x in making
women happy, revealing it triggers an
‘afterglow’ that lingers for 48 hours and which
helps couples to bond. Without it, they become
miserable and distant.
“And the statistics back this up – according to
a recent global survey of 26,000 people aged
16 and older across 26 countries, only 44 per
cent of people are fully satisfied with their s*x
lives. A report by the Kinsey s*x Institute
noted that a woman who had s*x nine times in
a month was 1.24 times as likely to be happy
as a woman who had s*x four times in a
month.
Scientists blame lack of s*x activity in the
bedroom on the stresses of modern living. The
researchers say this decrease in the amount
of s*x we have could be due to the increased
connectivity of modern life, with screens and
distractions which don’t go off at 11pm as the
old and few TV channels used to. You can see
why people would have more time for s*x.
What else was there to do on a rainy evening
in the pre-Net-fix and wi-fi days than slip
under the covers with a willing partner?
“Modern woman are working harder too. Add
this to the fact that most of us are available
online 24/7 and juggling demanding jobs with
just as demanding children, and sleep is what
most of us lust after in bed. Dr. Geoff Hackeff,
a leading expert in s*xual medicine believes if
we carry on like this, s*x is in danger of being
a lost art. “The domestic set-up in the Fifties,
for example, seemed to positively encourage
s*x,” he says. “But nowadays, there’s not
enough focus on it. Women are tired; they’re
working or focusing on screaming children.
Some are even exhausting themselves at the
gym – which, done to excess, can affect your
hormones and destroy your desire.
An active s*x life keeps couples together and
makes people live longer.”
For Dan, Felicia’s husband, the Jekyll and
Hyde changes in his wife’s personality when
they don’t have time for physical intimacy
have been hard to bear. “It was awful,” he
says. “She’d shout at me for little things I had
or hadn’t done, and because we both work full-
time, it made everything so much harder.
Before we had kids, we’d have a lot of s*x,
but now we’re tired and it’s more difficult. I do
miss s*x too, but I don’t suffer without it as
much as Felicia does. And the only thing that
could end the strained atmosphere is to get
intimate.
As soon as we have s*x, her bad mood lifts
and I have my loving, kind wife back. It’s as if
a switch had been flicked.”
Felicia agrees. “It’s like we’ve entered the
honeymoon period and for the next few days,
I’ll feel all happy and normal again. But this
only lasts for a week or ten days, so we make
a conscious effort to have s*x regularly, even
if we don’t feel like it.” For years, studies have
lauded the physical and psychological benefits
of s*x. Behaviour linking regular s*xual
activity to emotional well-being, found that
younger women felt more depressed the longer
they hadn’t had s*x. This is because, like any
exercise that raises your heart rate, s*x
causes your brain to release feel – good
chemicals that boost your levels of serotonin
– the happy hormone – to lift your mood.
Serotonin is the body’s key anti-depressant
chemical and one of the major reasons people
feel happy and relaxed after s*x.
According to Dr. David Weeks, former head of
old age psychology and clinical
neurophyschologist at the Royal Edinburgh
Hospital, people need to be more aware of the
importance of a healthy s*x life, particularly in
their early years. “s*x has a number of health
benefits, which can make men and women
look five to seven years younger,” he says. “It
causes the release of endorphins, the ‘feel
good’ chemical which acts as
a natural pain-killer and reduces anxiety, aiding
sleep. The exercise itself boost circulation
which is good for the heart and it also causes
the. human growth hormone to be released
which produces more lean “rriuscles and less
fat and makes the skin look more elastic and
attractive.”
I
But it’s not just physiological benefits that
count. Dr. Weeks claims s*xual satisfaction is
a major contributor to quality of life and the
psychological impact cannot be understated.
“If there’s an absence of pleasure, there is an
absence of connectedness between two
people, and people may start to have doubts
about their relationships,” he says. “s*x
sustains intimacy and there are some people
who crave that need for sociability and s*x
more than others.”
Who Needs Light In The Dark? (Humour)
A guy on a date parks his car and gets his
girlfriend in the back seat. They make love,
and the girl wants to do it again almost
instantly.
They end up doing it a second, a third and a
fourth time, until the bloke needs a rest and
ask his girlfriend to excuse him as he needs to
take a leak. While out of the car, he notices a
man a few yards away changing a flat tyre. He
walks over and says, “Listen, my girlfriend’s
over there in my car and I’ve already given it
to her four times and she still wants more. If
you give her one for me, I’ll change your tyre.
l’
The lucky motorist readily agrees, climbs into
the vehicle and begins shagging the insatiable
girl. While he is at it doggy style, a police man
shines a torch through the window. “What do
you think you’re doing there?” he asks the
man, who replies, “I’m making love to my
wife.”
The police man looks bemused and says, “Why
don’t you do it at home?”
The man answers, “Well, I didn’t know it was
my wife until you shone the torch on her.”

Powerful stuff