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The meaning of the acronym
FWB is friends with benefits. A
friend with benefits is someone
that you sleep with but aren’t
technically dating. A friend with
benefits, in other words, is a
casual relationship of fun and
s*x with no strings attached to
it.
“We slept together once a week for
about a year. After about 9 months I
realized I had really deep feelings for
her, at 12 months I confessed them to
her. That was 7 years ago and now we
are married with a two-year-old.”
2. “I was sleeping with other people,
and I made that clear to her. I was in
my ‘having fun’ stage and I wanted to
rack up some numbers, as gross as that
makes me sound. But when you meet
someone who is fun and good in bed
and a genuinely good person, you
can’t just say goodbye to them. I didn’t
know if I would meet someone like her
again when I was ready, so I decided I
was ready now and lucky she felt the
same way.”
3. “I went it to it “knowing” it was
going to be a short-term, casual thing.
We met on Tinder where I specifically
told her I was only looking for a fwb. I
had gone through a really bad
breakup a few months earlier and I
definitely wasn’t read to jump in
again, I just wanted someone to hook
up with occasionally. We saw each
other once or twice a month for a
year, very casually, before things
started really heating up. We were
perfect together in and out of bed. It
became clear that we should just be
together. We actually talked and
decided to become exclusive before
we’d ever been on a date outside one
of our apartments together!”
4. “After a few months we fell for each
other but we also knew we were
completely incompatible. We wanted
different lives and it wasn’t fair to
either of us to make it work so we
broke it off.”
5. “I truly thought I didn’t deserve her
and she’d never feel the same way
about me, which is why I never
pushed for anything beyond FWB. She
was beautiful and successful and had
a lot of friends, I was living with my
parents and trying to get my life
together. One day she told me she was
seeing someone else and caught the
hurt look in my eye. Confused, she
pressed me about why I’d be hurt
when I was the one keeping her at an
arms distance. I realized how stupid I
was being and told her how lucky I’d
be if she wanted to be with me. We’ve
been together ever since.”
6. “Maybe some people can sleep with
someone consistently without falling
for them, but I can’t. I was attracted
with her enough to sleep with her,
initially, and the more we started
hanging out laughing in bed and
talking, the more I liked her as a
person. It just made sense that we’d
start dating.”
7. “We got closer and closer the longer
we knew each other. Sometimes we
weren’t even having s*x when we
hung out anymore — and I was fine
with that. We just gradually became a
couple and I couldn’t be happier about
it.”
8. “I fell for her and I knew she didn’t
feel the same way. I kept sleeping with
her which was a big mistake and I fell
into a pretty bad depression. I
understood why the expression is
“breaking” your heart because I really
felt, physically, that that’s what
happened.”
9. “We said it was going to be just
casual for both of us, but we’re
engaged now. When it’s the right
person, it’s the right person.”
10. “I fell in love with her very
quickly, she wasn’t like my exes. There
was something about those nights with
her in my arms that made me open up
to the possibility of being together.
She had kind of entered into the
agreement with that notion, so we
started officially dating after just a
month of trying to be casual.”
11. “I have a ‘failed’ fwb relationship
in the sense that we are now married.
We were good friends before we
decided to start sleeping together with
no promises or strings attached, but of
course that only deepened our bond
and brought us close together. We
were inseparable soon after, that was
9 years ago.”
12. “About a year ago I met a
promising girl on Tinder, but I was
planning to move to another city
within the next 6-months. It was a
dream I had that I was about to act on,
but my feelings for her made me stay.
Even though we weren’t in love, it was
the most loving, passionate s*x I’d
ever had. She makes me feel
completely loved and cared for in and
out of the bedroom. I don’t regret it at
all, I’ve never been happier.”
13. “I was in a fwb situation with a
girl I could have loved, but it was the
wrong time for me and I told her that
upfront. She fell, I didn’t (or at least, I
was more rational about the fact that
we didn’t have a future). It s**ked for
both of us and I’ll always have ‘what
if…’ feelings about her.”
14. “I’d had a few FWB relationships
before, but not like this. We always
spent the night, it wasn’t a question.
We cuddled like we were lovers. She
was always touching me, even if we
were just watching TV getting ready to
wind down and go to bed together.
The feeling of closeness we developed
was intoxicating. After a few months I
told her I had to be with her officially
or walk away. Thankfully she agreed.”
15. “She didn’t want a relationship
and I wanted her in any capacity I
could have her, so I agreed to FWB
even though I knew I would probably
get hurt. I slept with her and pursued
more for two years, but she never
came around. I finally got the resolve
to walk away, but it was almost a year
before I stopped hurting over her.”
16. “I think FWB is actually the ideal
way to start a relationship. It’s fun
and casual and you quickly get to
know who a person really is, not just
the mask they put on to try to impress
you. All three of my girlfriends started
out as FWB including the girl I’m
currently dating.”
17. “We called it FWB but right from
the start it was more boyfriend/
girlfriend, we just didn’t go on official
dates. We’d spend weekends in bed
together, cooking nice dinners,
watching TV, and relaxing together.
We loved each other’s company and
missed the other person when they
weren’t around. It got to the point
where I couldn’t imagine waking up
and not being able to text her, or not
being able to go to sleep with my arms
wrapped around her. It was stupid to
not express more of this at the
beginning, but it worked out because
we’ve been together for three years
and we’ve been talking about getting
married.”
FWB relationships are intended to be
solely about filling each other’s s*xual
needs. You generally talk minimally in
order to ensure your feelings stay as far
away from your s*x filled relationship as
possible. You make an agreement from
the start that you’re not there to comfort
each other when it’s 2 AM and you’re
lonely, but you will come over at 2 AM to
hook up and leave.
But the line and boundaries drawn in a
FWB relationship are never crystal clear.
There are always some loopholes,
whether it’s one person (or both) falling
for the one person they swore they’d
only like s*xually. It could be feelings,
jealously, complications, or whatever your
personal experience with your FWB
turned out like.
Guys haven’t always been known for
having a way with words and expressing
their feelings, but here are a few signs
that might indicate he doesn’t want to
solely sleep with you, but he also wants
to be a major part of your life.
1. He tries his best to act uninterested in
your life, but always ask you about your
day.
He is trying not to play like he’s too into
you, but he still looks for a genuine
answer when he asks how your day was
while you’re lying in bed together.
2. He will bring up topics from the last
time you saw each other.
If something happened at work that you
brought up last time you were together,
he will do a follow up question. He will
try to slyly bring it in to the conversation
like it just popped into his head, but he
remembered what you said all along. He
wants to try to fit into your personal life
and built a relationship outside of s*x.
3. He does random things like surprise
you with a doughnut.
Remember how last time you were
together and you said you really wanted
a doughnut? No? Well he did. And when
he gave it to you he said something like,
“oh, I was just getting myself a coffee
and I remembered you said you wanted a
doughnut, so here.” He purposely got you
that doughnut because he wanted to do
something nice for you.
4. He suggests sleeping over.
If all he’s after is a FWB relationship he
really shouldn’t suggest sleeping over,
simply because that takes the whole
‘benefits’ thing to a whole other
level (you’ll, like, actually be sleeping
together). If you think you’re mature
enough to have a FWB relationship you
should be mature enough to realize that
females tend to get attached and by
having her sleep over you know that she
will start thinking you want more. So just
know if you’re asking her to stay the
night she isn’t the only one who is
starting to get hopeful.
5. He starts to ask if you want to do
things with him.
He tries to keep it casual like going to a
drive thru with him and he pay. Or him
asking you to help him with some
shopping because, you know, guys hate
shopping. But it progresses and your
relationship starts taking place outside
the bedroom more and more frequently.
6. He asks you to go to family functions
with him because, you know, his family is
starting to question if he’s g*y, or
whatever excuse people make.
He brings you to his cousins wedding or
to a family BBQ or to meet the family for
a special occasion. That’s him showing
interest in you, that’s him showing a lot
of interest in you in order to bring you
around to introduce you to his whole
family.
7. He confides in you.
He used to only talk about minimal things
in his life, but the longer you’ve had your
relationship going the more he trusts you.
The time you used to talk about random
things after you had s*x, now turns into
“pillow talk” and he confesses things to
you he usually wouldn’t tell others.
8. He brings you around to hang with his
friends.
He suggests you should come to his
friend’s basketball game because their
group always goes to watch, or he
suggests you come to his friends house
to watch a movie because it just came
out on DVD. He still justifies why he’s
asking you, but he’s still asking you and
he’s hoping his friends will give him
some feedback on how cool you are.
9. He asks about the other men in your
life.
First you think he might just be curios if
you’re sleeping with anyone else, but he
kind of doesn’t let it go. Or he will
always make jokes about how you’re
always hanging around ‘Derek or
whatever his name is’.
10. He cares about you.
If you’re having a bad day, he is there for
you. He tries to make you laugh or will
call you just to talk. He takes thing
further than just being FWB. He shows
you effort and tries to be in your life and
build a deeper relationship than just FWB.
Men are simple species most of the time
and more than likely when they say they
just want to be FWB that’s what they
mean. They don’t want to further the
relationship, they don’t want someone to
hold hands with and go on dates with,
they simply want someone who’s got the
same mindset and agreed to satisfy each
other’s needs in the bedroom. But things
change, feelings are unpredictable and
he might be one of the few who actually
see something more than just s*x with
you.
I’m no expert, but those are all pretty
good indications he wants to be more
than FWB, he wants to be your boyfriend,
and if you have the chat and he doesn’t,
send him packing because he’s failed at
giving mixed signals and you don’t need
that kind of negativity in your life.